At Full Speed
by derval
Summary: It was five o'clock on a Monday morning, and Kakashi's alarm clock was a lot more excited about it than he was. Kakashi/Yamato, pre-series, the whole story.
1. I Don't Want A Job

**Title: **At Full Speed  
**Premise: **Four years before Kakashi became the leader of Team 7, he was an ANBU operative without a partner. He and Tenzou team up, and it leads to ventures that neither of them were really expecting. The story is told in third person from Kakashi's point of view.  
**Warnings: **Language and violence. Chapters that might be particularly triggering will be topped with content notes, but please read with discretion.

* * *

It was five o'clock on a Monday morning, and Kakashi's alarm clock was a lot more excited about it than he was.

With a deeply unimpressed grunt (he considered it a talent to be able to grunt with _feeling_), he rolled over and prodded the snooze button with one finger.

Thirty seconds later, it started beeping again. It was _loving _this - up until Kakashi swatted it across the room. It landed with a rattle and a sad little _boop_ as though he'd broken its tiny circuitboard heart, but he didn't care. He was at least twenty years too young to have to wake up at this hour every weekday and trudge off to a boring office - he was only twenty-two, he should've still been partying and drinking with all the girls. Or whatever else entertained kids these days.

_Kids these days?_

Grunting again - incredulously, this time, trying to figure out when he'd become so _old_ - he sat up, his singular exposed eye slowly adjusting to the dim light. His curtains were closed, and he didn't need to peek behind them to know that the sun was blaring outside. For anybody else, today would be a glorious summer's day; it was late August and the temperatures hovered around boiling point, as far as he could tell. But for _him _it would be another day trapped in his stiflingly hot cubicle, sorting papers and running errands.

Maybe his boss was trying to kill him off by slowly cooking him to death. That actually wouldn't even remotely surprise him, he realised vehemently, as he forced his body (which sobbed and asked him _why_, to which he had no response) out of bed, and trudged to the shower.

It was becoming a neat, if uncomfortable, little routine. Each morning he'd stagger out of bed, after severely offending his alarm clock, and clamber into the shower which would, without fail, run cold _and_ make his hair ridiculously poofy for the rest of the day. Then he would drip-dry, freezing to death even in the middle of a hot summer, while trying to choke something down for breakfast. Next - and this really was his favourite part - he would get dressed in his 'office clothes', which were invariably a white button-down shirt and black pants, and a dark blue undershirt with a neckline high enough to cover most of his face. This led seamlessly into his staring at himself in the mirror and reassuring himself that he _was_ a ninja, really, and a good one… and then he'd knot his tie and wonder what the hell he was doing with his life.

He had been an active ANBU operative, but then his partner had fallen pregnant and she'd dropped out - Kakashi couldn't blame her one bit - and so his boss had shunted him into an administration role until someone else cropped up. For some reason, he wasn't allowed to join one of the pre-existing squads, but he had an inkling that it was to do with his inability to get on with most people. But he would've rather been partnered with a murderer with a penchant for collecting the heads of poofy-haired ninja, than be forced to work in an _office_.

His boss didn't care. Obviously. That was why he expected Kakashi to clock in every morning at six, and not leave until twelve hours later. Everybody he worked with found it absolutely _hilarious _that he had fallen so far from grace - from everybody's favourite Copy Ninja to a loser office lackey. So it didn't surprise him when, the second he arrived that morning, three people had already stuffed empty coffee cups into his hands. He was more than used to it.

"Black, two sugars, thanks Kakashi," a coworker rattled off, and Kakashi frowned behind his mask.

For the next five hours he sat in mind-numbing tedium, slowly boiling alive in his work shirt, trying to ignore tendrils of sweat beading down his back. He wanted to tear off all his clothes and streak around the cubicles and air his naked body in front of the fan, but that probably wouldn't have gone over particularly well with his boss. He glanced down at what he'd been writing, only to realise that he'd absently doodled a rather abstract depiction of his boss trapped in a filing cabinet-style iron maiden. Admiring his own handiwork, he barely noticed when the man himself materialised in his cubicle.

"What's that?" his boss said, but Kakashi had already flipped the paper over and leaned back in his swivel chair.

"Nothing, nothing," Kakashi said smoothly, adopting the simpering smile that he'd seen so many of his colleagues point in his direction. "What can I do for you, boss?"

His boss - Genkei, the commander of the whole of ANBU - looked completely out of place in this office environment. Actually, it was a bit hilarious. People were peeking over the tops of their cubicles, trying to get a better view of him; he was dressed in black, but wearing a white cloak, and his face was completely hidden by a mask in the image of a dog. He bristled with quiet strength and radiated an aura that said _don't mess with me_, and that was mostly the reason why Kakashi so loved pushing his buttons.

"Memo for you. Hope you don't have any plans for tonight, Hatake," Genkei said, dropping a folded piece of paper on his desk.

Of course he didn't have plans. Plans were for people who still had their _youth_, Kakashi thought irritably as he went to say thanks to Genkei - but he'd already disappeared. He stared down at the paper in front of him, and hoped that it might be a command to throw himself out of the nearest window. But actually, it was nothing remotely as exciting.

_Be in my office at 6:05PM sharp. Some people you need to meet._

Once he'd read it, the note caught fire and turned to ash before his very eyes. That was definitely overkill, he thought, raising an eyebrow as he considered it.

Then he went to fetch a dustpan and brush.

* * *

Kakashi burst through Genkei's office door, looking harassed.

"Sorry I'm late, commander, the copier -"

"Save it, Hatake."

Kakashi didn't really need to finish his excuse: the impressive splatter of blue toner across the front of his once-white shirt told its own story. He realised as his eyes adjusted to the lowlight (his boss' office was at least two hundred feet underground, lit only by a few buzzing incandescent lamps) that there was a line of about twenty people in front of him, all staring at him. Were they a firing squad? Had his boss finally had enough of him? Because if so, the feeling was mutual.

Each of them was wearing an ANBU uniform, and he couldn't deny the envy that he felt - compared to them, in their form-fitting black clothing and tough chest and armguards, he looked like a civilian. They were all holding their masks at their sides, and the few that were peering at him looked fresh-faced and innocent. Naïve. They must've been new recruits. Kakashi met the gaze of one boy who looked about twelve years old (or maybe he was just feeling old again), with darkly-ringed eyes and a crop of messy brown hair. The boy's eyes widened visibly and he stared at the ground, looking traumatised.

"Good to see this year's recruits are looking tough," Kakashi remarked flatly, casting his unimpressed stare up and down the line. They all either looked a bit too scrawny, a bit too shaky, or a bit too _young_.

Genkei must have completely missed his sarcasm, because he said, "These are the best of this year's intake. I thought you might like to meet some of them."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. So this was like speed dating, but with ninjas?

"All right. Well, nice to meet you all," he said with an eye-smile, raising a hand in a tiny wave, "My name is Kakashi."

They all stared back at him. Two of them appeared to have realised that he was _the _Kakashi, but they were now laughing behind their hands, which was a far cry from the kind of reverence he was used to. He loosened his tie a little and stared listlessly at them, but they didn't notice. This was a nightmare. He was their _senior_. They were supposed to _respect_ him.

The boy who he'd locked eyes with a moment ago stood out only because he looked almost exaggeratedly average, and for some reason, familiar. Suddenly he remembered - he'd had to save this kid's file from the shredder the other week because of some careless newbie, and, curious, he'd leafed through it. He was Konoha's Wood style user, but he looked considerably less impressive than his abilities suggested; Kakashi stepped to him to see that they were both of similar build and height, but the boy was a little shorter and leaner.

"Your name is Tenzou, right?" Kakashi said, and the kid nodded, this time unafraid to stare steadily back at him. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen," Tenzou said, and Kakashi exerted a great deal of effort to not laugh in his face. He was baby-faced for an eighteen year old, but still - he had a katana strapped to his back, and last time he'd checked, Kakashi had… nothing.

Tenzou was four years his junior, which could actually work quite nicely - he considered the kid for a little longer, up until the point where Tenzou was pointedly staring at him as if to say _why the hell are you still looking at me, creep_, then he stepped through the line and strolled over to the long desk that Genkei sat behind.

"None of them are a good fit, commander," Kakashi said, looking as apologetic as he could with just one eye. He really just wanted to go _home_, and as much as he might've liked to pick a random ninja from the line and call them his new partner - just to escape the office job - he knew that wouldn't end well.

Genkei stared at Kakashi over his steepled fingers, looking marginally irritated.

"Be that as it may, Kakashi, they're the best we have to offer of this year's new recruits. You can have a few more days to think on it," he intoned. And then: "Don't come back in until Saturday."

Kakashi could've kissed each and every one of them.

* * *

Hands pocketed, Kakashi wandered down the quiet streets that led to his part of town. By this time - about nine at night, because Genkei had given him a couple of hours' overtime - the sky had faded to a dusky blue, and the first stars were just showing up. As Kakashi walked, he thought. While being given time off until Saturday was pretty much the best thing that had happened to him all year - he still couldn't believe his luck - that meant that he had exactly four days to choose a partner from that group of twenty. And he could barely even remember anything about any of them, even though he'd delved into their files - except for the Tenzou kid, who seemed more like a liability than a real option.

He was interesting, though. There had been parts of his file that were protected with a technique that made them indecipherable; the boy had secrets, and troubles. Kakashi did know that Konoha wanted to keep his existence as private as possible, but he didn't know how well the village was managing this - Orochimaru was heavily implicated in his past, and Orochimaru had disappeared from their radar, untraceable.

Once he'd finally gotten home, Kakashi just about had the energy to kick off his shoes and throw his tie on the floor before he collapsed onto his bed, where a transferred blue toner stain would be waiting for him the next morning.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading, and if you have the time to review it'd be much appreciated. I've been struggling to get this story into a form that I'm happy with, so if you like it too, I'd really love to hear from you! :)


	2. Pick Me Up

The following Saturday, Kakashi found himself stalking the streets at night - he would have to stop that, he thought, otherwise people would think he was some kind of pervert… although that estimation wouldn't really be far off. It was a Saturday, and although the moon had long since risen, the night was still young.

He'd had a long day in the ANBU offices sorting paperwork, and dealing with a filing cabinet that had exploded because of some idiot new recruit's idea of a joke. (With a frown, he recalled imploring Ibiki to take the boy off and force him to do paperwork while hung upside down from the ceiling, but the idea hadn't gone down well). The worst part was that he'd had to tell Genkei that he couldn't take any of those twenty recruits as his partner, which had made his boss' hatred for him only _more _evident.

_"See me by the end of the night with a decision, Hatake, or you'll be in the office for the next year."_

He just really, _really _wanted a drink, and his feet had carried him to the village's cheapest and nastiest district instinctively. The ANBU paid its workers well, even the dogsbodies, but he was famously stingy - besides, the kinds of people he tended to associate with usually spent their Saturday nights here, in such exclusive establishments as the Shitty-Excuse-For-A-Bar, or whatever it was calling itself these days, and he was an expert in the fine art of getting somebody else to foot the bill.

However, when he scanned the first place he stepped inside, there wasn't anybody there that he recognised at first glance. It would still do, he decided, because judging by its grimy dim-lit interior, flickering lamps, dirty surfaces and water-spotted glasses, the drink here wasn't going to be that expensive. He took a seat at the bar, and the barkeep quickly poured him the vodka shot he was dying for.

"All right, pal?" the barkeep said to him, as he downed his third glass. "You look troubled."

Kakashi shrugged. If he'd had a sour expression, it was because he really _hated _vodka, but four shots of it and he was golden for the rest of the night, a happy puppy.

"Not as bad as that guy over there though, huh?" the man said, chuckling a little as he jutted a thumb down the bar to Kakashi's right. Feeling a little Schadenfreude coming on, Kakashi turned his head, only to spy someone he really hadn't been expecting to see in such a state. Lying cheek against the bar, surrounded by a little crowd of shot glasses, was Tenzou, the kid from ANBU. He grinned stupidly at nothing - at least he was having a good time - and didn't seem that bothered even as both of them stared at him.

"Shouldn't you stop giving him drinks?" Kakashi said, and the barkeep paused halfway through pouring Tenzou another shot - which he'd asked for by flailing his hand in the air.

"Look at his face, how could you say no to that?" the bartender grinned back and, side-eyeing Tenzou, Kakashi thought it'd be pretty easy, actually. "Besides, the drunker he gets, the more he pays up each time. It's great."

Kakashi finished his last shot - the fourth - and scraped his barstool backwards, throwing a couple of notes on the bar. His good mood hadn't quite started to settle in - he could tell because he was still vividly imagining kicking his boss in the balls - but he was feeling that fuzzy warmth that meant it was only a matter of time. He felt convivial enough to take Tenzou home, especially considering that there was no chance the kid would make it on his own.

"Come on," Kakashi said a little gruffly, grabbing Tenzou by the back of his shirt. Tenzou didn't move, or give Kakashi any indication that he was conscious for that matter, save for his slow blinking. One eye blinked before the other. It was fun to watch. The boy obviously couldn't stand on his own, so Kakashi lifted him by his collar and dragged him out of the bar. Tenzou appeared mostly content to not have to carry his own weight.

"You know, I was going to tell the boss I wanted you as my partner," Kakashi told him, as he dragged Tenzou staggering through dark streets, "But maybe I'll choose someone who knows how to hold their drink."

Tenzou had nothing to say to this.

"Are you even awake?"

"Muh," the kid said back, and Kakashi nodded. It would probably be better to roll with the punches for now, because Tenzou was totally wasted. Luckily, Kakashi knew from Tenzou's file exactly where he lived - so now he could be called a pervert _and _a stalker - so he could drop him home fast and leave to enjoy the rest of his night.

As they entered a dingy square, they passed beneath a streetlamp that cast its jarring sulphur glow over them, flinging their shadows deep into the night. Tenzou lurched then, suddenly, and Kakashi let him sink gently to his knees, hoping that he wasn't going to throw up. Instead, the kid slumped sideways onto the ground, gazing up at him in apparent confusion.

"What'sshh goin' on?" he slurred up at Kakashi.

"I'm tryin' - trying to take you home," Kakashi replied. He could feel his gleeful brain slipping into a drunken fug. Better hurry it up.

"Home with _you_?" Tenzou said, now staring at an indeterminable spot in the distance, still wearing a moronic, slightly self-satisfied grin.

"S'not your lucky night," Kakashi replied, and then their eyes met, and they laughed a little. Kakashi caught himself just before he lurched to the side, and his sober self told him to get a grip. Meanwhile, drunken Kakashi was having a ball.

The dichotomy in his brain meant that he completely failed to notice the arrival of two strangers until Tenzou greeted them with a sleepy-sounding, "Hi guyssssh!". Kakashi lifted his head, tearing his gaze away from the sight of Tenzou huddled on the ground, to fix the newcomers with a curious stare. They were two people dressed in cloaks, one black, one murky green, that completely obscured their identities and left Kakashi clueless as to their affiliation.

"You showed up a little late," Kakashi said apologetically, "We're just heading home." Then he kicked Tenzou softly in the stomach, but Tenzou didn't move an inch.

"I don't think that'll be happening tonight, boys," a slick male voice said back to him, and he stared listlessly at the cloaked figures.

"Isssh - is that a threat?" he replied, his voice suddenly husky and dangerous. (And a little slurred). His muscles twitched with nervous energy; slowly, he slipped off his tie, letting it snake to the ground. He may have been in his work outfit, completely unequipped, but he could take these guys. Even though he was out of practice, Copy Ninja Kakashi _didn't lose fights_.

Wait. It'd probably be a good idea to find some -

A kunai whistled past his ear.

_Knives._

Kakashi ducked down, throwing himself over Tenzou. He delved into the kid's thigh pouch - Tenzou kicked a little, and slurred something at him, but Kakashi didn't know what, and he didn't really care either because another kunai had just stuck him in the arm. Holding back the swear word that so wanted to leap from his lips, he withdrew a fistful of knives, which he quickly tucked into his belt, and then straightened and stood, loose and limber, in front of Tenzou.

"What do you want?" he said smoothly, popping the kunai out of his arm.

"The Wood style user. Hand him over peacefully and we can forget that any of this ever happened," the black-cloaked ninja said back to him, and Kakashi tilted his head. Who had let these people into the village? Maybe somebody particularly idiotic had been stationed at the gate tonight.

"Sshorry to have to ruin your night, but… no."

On the last word, he sent the kunai sailing towards them; the green-cloaked ninja flit out of the way, moving back, but before the one in the black cloak could move, Kakashi was suddenly behind him - he aimed a vicious kick at the back of his head, which connected with a sick crack, and then in the second instant his thrown kunai struck the man between the ribs. With a furious wail, the ninja whirled around and aimed a brutal fist at Kakashi's face, but Kakashi caught him by his wrist and used his arm to lever him down, right into Kakashi's knee to the face. The ninja crumpled, useless.

Mentally celebrating - _that's what happens to people who _mess _with me! _- Kakashi then turned to get a faceful of clear and sticky fluid.

Wait. What the hell?

The black-cloaked ninja had been just buying time so that the one in the green cloak could execute his technique, and Kakashi rubbed the liquid from his eyes to see that a stream of it was pouring from the man's mouth. That was totally disgusting, but not only was it vile, an expanding puddle of it had formed around his feet, and with each second it became a little thicker. He was stuck fast, like an insect on flypaper, and his only backup was a catatonic drunk.

He flung a couple of kunai in the green-cloaked ninja's direction, but it was useless; the ninja dodged them easily and sent a few more soaring back in return. Kakashi, obviously unable to dodge, gave only a little snarl when four kunai pierced his abdomen. Just a flesh wound. His machismo faltered, though, when the stranger started sprinting towards Tenzou - infuriatingly, he was darting over the surface of the superglue-like liquid completely unhindered, and just out of reach.

And then, miraculously, Tenzou moved. He made a hand seal. Kakashi watched, incredulous, as the boy summoned a funnel of vines at the feet of the green-cloaked ninja, which spiralled up and wound tightly around their prey, forming a heavy cocoon that rocked to the ground. This had the interesting, but - Kakashi guessed - unintentional effect of absorbing most of the puddle of liquid, as the vines had absorbed it as nourishment, and were now throbbing happily around their captive.

"Wow, you actually did something usheful," Kakashi said, shaking a few drops of the foul fluid from his shoe and picking the kunai out of his belly one by one. "Let's get outta here."

* * *

Kakashi and Tenzou were sat next to each other on hard plastic seats, in a waiting room somewhere below the surface of Konoha. Opposite them was Genkei, who had relinquished his mask to fix them with a stare that contained both deep loathing and complete incredulousness. Between them, sprawled out on the linoleum tiles, were a ninja in a black cloak, and a casket of vines. The clock on the wall said that it was half past eleven.

_"See me by the end of the night with a decision, Hatake, or you'll be in the office for the next year."_

It was still Saturday night. Kakashi had won.

"Well, I'm not sure _how _you managed it, given this one's state," Genkei said, waving a hand at Tenzou, "But you halted the security breach without even knowing it had happened. So… well done."

Kakashi nodded. "All in a day'sh - _day's _work, commander."

"Have you decided who you want to partner with, Hatake?"

Of course he had.

"He'll do," he said, tilting his head in Tenzou's direction.

"All right. You had better take him home… see me for your mission detail tomorrow morning. Early."

Genkei left, dragging the cocoon of vines (an angry voice was emanating from it) and the unconscious black-cloaked ninja behind him. As soon as the door closed, Kakashi and Tenzou dissolved into drunken giggles, collapsing against each other.

"Hold on, hold on," Kakashi said, "Isn't the drinking age _twenty?_"


	3. Bloodshot

Early the next morning - although he'd actually been half an hour late because he'd overestimated how much give there was in his old ANBU uniform - Kakashi found himself alone with Genkei in his boss' office, which always put him on edge. He had a sneaking suspicion that if he didn't expect Genkei to be about to kill him ninety percent of the time, they could've had a much better working relationship.

As it stood in that moment, Kakashi was holding his ANBU mask in one hand, and fixing Genkei with a single bloodshot eye; his boss stared back through his mask's eyeholes. Kakashi wouldn't have been surprised to see static electricity sparking between them, the atmosphere was _that_ charged. Genkei had just delivered the mission detail to him, and Kakashi was, to say the least, unimpressed.

"Is there a problem, Hatake?" Genkei said smoothly. On the surface, all seemed calm, but Kakashi knew that his boss was probably imagining beating him to death with his desk chair.

There was a problem, actually: he thought that the mission was a steaming pile of crap, and he'd almost have actually preferred another stint in an office cubicle to dragging Tenzou, kicking and screaming, through it. He did not say this out loud.

"I don't think it's wise to send Tenzou on this mission," Kakashi said, a little impressed at how diplomatic he'd managed to sound.

"Protective of him already, hm?" Genkei taunted derisively. Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. No, he _wasn't_ protective (at least, he tried to tell himself this), but he also wasn't a sadist. "He's not a child, you know. He will be able to cope."

He was only eighteen! Eighteen year old boys still lived with their _parents_, Kakashi thought furiously. Then he remembered that he wasn't protective over the kid, and tried to smooth the livid wrinkle that had formed in his forehead.

"What if he's traumatised by it?" Kakashi said levelly, mentally adding _and then I'll have to deal with it._ If Genkei actually gave two shits about the kid, he was doing a really, really good job of not showing it: his boss just stared onward, emotionless. Still, Kakashi thought, they were ANBU operatives… and ANBU ops were tools first, and people a distant second.

"I suppose you're just going to have to make sure that he's not… unless you'd like to spend another six months in administration," Genkei replied darkly. It was all Kakashi could do to not childishly shout _all right, fine,_ then stamp his foot and storm out.

He donned his ANBU mask, and pulled a face at his boss behind it. The bastard was doing this on purpose because he loved to watch Kakashi suffer - five years of working under Genkei had taught Kakashi that _nothing _could please the man, and he was so stubborn that it was pointless trying to change his mind.

"I'll do my best, boss," Kakashi promised with a schmoozy grin, before flickering out of Genkei's office.

This was not exactly what he'd been expecting.

* * *

Kakashi had been hammering Tenzou's apartment door for five minutes now, but still nothing. A quick glance at the clock down the hall had informed him that it was six thirty in the morning, and Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the kid; this day wasn't going to be any fun for either of them - and he wanted to get it over with fast, but that first involved getting Tenzou out of bed. His knuckles were starting to sting, so he refocused his efforts on the doorbell, which had an ear-splittingly loud and irritating tune that he could hear crystal clear even from behind the door.

He could've just broken in and dragged Tenzou forcibly out of bed, but that seemed like a pretty horrific way to get his new partner to like him. As the seconds ticked by, though, it was looking more and more a favourable option.

"Tenzou?" he called, now jabbing at the doorbell repeatedly so that its tune overlapped and repeated itself, "I know you're in there."

He knew because he'd put Tenzou to bed himself; he'd ended up having to carry the boy home because he had passed out. He hesitated on the doorbell as he thought he'd heard movement over its blaring song, but it was just Tenzou's upstairs neighbour, who sounded like they were jumping up and down on Tenzou's ceiling.

"SHUT! UP!" they hollered. Kakashi mentally thanked them, because there was no way Tenzou would be able to ignore that. He rang the doorbell once more for good measure, and then removed his mask and stood back, waiting.

A few minutes passed.

"Tenzou?" he called, and was met by silence.

Kakashi was an easygoing guy, usually. (Sometimes). But he'd had about four hours of sleep, he had a headache, and his boss was an asshole. Having to try and force a hungover teenage boy out of bed - what was he, the kid's _dad? _- was the last straw, and he aimed a brutal kick at the apartment door, which hit it with such force that the whole thing bowed inwards as though it might break.

"I'm _coming,_" Tenzou yelled sleepily.

"That's disgusting!" his upstairs neighbour bellowed in horror, and then fell silent. Kakashi would've facepalmed if he had the energy.

Finally, _finally,_ the door clicked and swung open, revealing Tenzou, who was wearing a t-shirt and boxers, hilariously under-equipped compared to Kakashi. Kakashi stared determinedly into the kid's eyes; Tenzou's expression quickly faded from barbed and fuming to confused and a little disturbed.

"Why are you here?" Tenzou mumbled, squinting at him, puzzled.

That was a very good question.

Kakashi decided to let Tenzou down gently because, by the looks of him - with his bloodshot eyes, heavy eye bags and hair that was jagging in every direction - he hadn't had a lot of sleep, and Kakashi didn't hate him enough yet to want to force him to suffer. Although, it was probably only a matter of time.

"I thought I should come and check up on you, as you were totalled last night," he said, and Tenzou's red eyes widened a little as though in horror. Strange.

"Wh - what happened?" the kid asked groggily, absently rubbing his cheek, which was still sticky with bar dirt.

Unfortunately, Kakashi hadn't been drunk enough to forget the whole thing.

"You were too drunk to notice that the bartender was ripping you off, so I tried to take you home, but we were attacked by two enemy ninja," he explained quickly, "We dealt with them, and then I brought you back here."

Kakashi didn't add _oh, and by the way, I'm your boss now_. He could sit on that one for a little while longer.

"Is that all?" Tenzou said, husky and uneasy, a sceptical glare fixed on Kakashi. Kakashi stared blankly at him: what the hell was this kid trying to imply? Had his reputation of being a pervert really carried this far?

"That's about it," Kakashi said.

"So what's this sticky stuff in my hair?" Tenzou demanded.

Oh, God. Kakashi frantically tried to think of something, because he'd just figured out exactly what Tenzou was suggesting, and that was _not good_. He didn't need rumours like that spread about him. Then the memory dawned on him gloriously: that weird ninja in the green cloak.

"It was a technique," Kakashi quickly attempted to explain.

"Is that a euphemism?" Tenzou said warily, and Kakashi genuinely would have rather died than have this conversation.

"No, I mean it was a _ninja_ technique, that one of the guys who attacked us used," Kakashi said, now feeling a little affronted. He wasn't the type to take advantage of drunk people. For all his sarcasm and meanness, he'd always thought of himself as a pretty genuine guy.

"That's a relief," Tenzou breathed, looking Kakashi up and down. Kakashi's jaw tightened. Was there something wrong with him? Sure, he'd gained a little weight being off-duty for so long, but that didn't make him any less of a stud - Tenzou apparently disagreed.

"Yeah, well. You might want to get dressed," Kakashi said back, any desire to be kind to the boy having just upped and left.

"Why?" Tenzou said, tilting his head.

"We have a mission," Kakashi stated, relishing the look of bewildered horror on Tenzou's sleepy face.

"But I don't - you're not - wha-"

"As of today, you answer to me… kohai," Kakashi said, slick.

"You chose _me_?" Tenzou blurted, staring at him with an aggrieved expression that reminded Kakashi of a dog that'd done wrong.

_That's supposed to be an _honour_, kid, _Kakashi thought tersely, but he nodded.

"Because we got drunk and fought ninjas together?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Kakashi said, realising even as he said it that this may not have been his greatest idea to date. Still, Tenzou was a one-way ticket out of the office job. He put his mask back on and peered at Tenzou through its eyeholes; Tenzou stared back at him as though he thought Kakashi were out of his mind, which was more or less a reasonable assumption.

"All right… give me a minute," Tenzou said.

* * *

Clad in their ANBU uniforms, the pair of them walked through Konoha's quieter streets, heading for the village outskirts. Even though the buildings around them cast them into shadow, the brilliance of the late August sunshine was persistent in the strip of sky above them, and Kakashi winced in irritation. He could only imagine how horrific Tenzou must have felt - he had actually been _so drunk_ last night that he was still swaying a little bit as they walked.

"You should probably quit drinking," Kakashi advised, as Tenzou stopped to lean against a wall.

"Probably," Tenzou said gruffly, removing his ANBU mask for a second to rub furiously at his eyes. Once he'd replaced it, he said, "What's our mission, anyway?"

Kakashi sighed. He couldn't keep it a secret forever, obviously, but he had been dreading that question from the instant Genkei had given him the mission detail. Their task seemed to have been tailored specifically to cause Tenzou the maximum amount of turmoil, and this was just another reason why Kakashi really wanted to assault his boss with a staple gun.

"We have to infiltrate one of Orochimaru's abandoned labs and recover any research he left behind," Kakashi explained, sounding as disaffected as possible - there was no point beating around the bush. Tenzou stared at the ground, looking put out, and this for some reason made Kakashi compelled to apologise. "Listen, I didn't choose it. Actually I tried to convince the boss it was a bad idea."

Tenzou shrugged. Kakashi was no mind reader, but he _was _perceptive, and he could tell that the kid was having second thoughts about this whole thing, too. Kakashi had no idea what dark secrets to do with Orochimaru were locked up inside Tenzou, but from the looks of things, they weren't the kind that he liked to be reminded of when he was unprepared.

"Let's just get it over with, okay?" Kakashi said, with a brisk sort of kindness, and Tenzou pushed himself away from the wall.

"All right," he said.

They walked on for a little while longer, through alleyways that seemed to get narrower the further they went. Soon, Kakashi stopped - he was pretty sure that this was the right place. They stood facing a manhole cover, and Kakashi mentally cursed Orochimaru for being the kind of freak who operated in a sewer.

"Do we really have to -" Tenzou began, but was cut off as Kakashi pried open the manhole cover, answering his question. They'd barely been out for twenty minutes and already the kid looked utterly defeated, and Kakashi couldn't blame him. He wasn't too enthusiastic about the idea of delving into a sewer, either.

"It's disused, so don't worry," Kakashi said, although this was probably not much comfort. "I'll go first."

The ladder was rusted and worryingly shaky, but he picked his way down it without much trouble. He glanced up at him to see that Tenzou had started to climb down, too, and he wondered if this was what Tenzou had been expecting when he'd signed up as an ANBU recruit. Poor kid. It was something he saw all too often though, working with ANBU - the recruits would arrive one year, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and by the next year, the ones that were still alive looked as though they'd had their souls worked right out of them.

As they went down further into the cavernous tunnel below, the heat rose to meet them in waves; it was stiflingly, chokingly hot. Kakashi's brow was already sweating, and it'd been less than five minutes. Not only was it like dropping into a furnace, it also smelled - not like a sewer, which was a relief, but like damp and mildew. A few incandescent lights, full of dead insects, were buzzing lowly, fixed to the walls; in their flickering light, Kakashi could see that the curved tunnel walls were patchworked with swathes of mould and splattered with what was definitely blood. Well this was just charming.

He hopped down from the ladder, followed by Tenzou who slipped on something mysterious and wet on the ground. After righting himself, he said, "Which way?", and Kakashi cast his stare up and down the tunnel.

The map he'd seen of this place had been astonishingly complex, but luckily he had his nose to guide him. He gave it a little twitch, and channelled a little extra chakra to it, activating his enhanced sense of smell. The stench of damp flooded forth, enhanced by what seemed like a thousand times and making him wince. And then, the comparatively refreshing smell of soil and leaves - was that Tenzou? - followed by a whiff of what he was searching for. Orochimaru smelled like plum blossom and rust, and Kakashi's nose pointed him in the right direction.

"Follow me," he said, and the two of them set off.


	4. Moonlight Dreams

Whatever they were wading through was warm and sticky, and it had permeated Kakashi's sandals and was now seeping up the leg of his pants. They stuck to his calves, hot and itchy and uncomfortable, and he shook his foot irritably as though trying to shake out a cramp. This place was _disgusting_ - the further they went on, the stronger the fetid smell became. It reminded him of rotting milk, but tinged with blood in a vomit-inducing bouquet.

Meanwhile, Tenzou was acting oddly: first he shook his head like he was trying to deter an annoying bug and then he was rubbing his temples, just behind his mask. Kakashi observed him with a raised brow, starting to form niggling doubts about the boy's mental health - then Tenzou slapped the back of his own head, and Kakashi was a little disturbed.

"Is something wrong?" he said, peering at Tenzou.

"Mosquitoes," was all Tenzou gruffed in response, and although Kakashi wasn't sure he believed him, they sloshed on.

Soon, they came to a fork in the tunnel; one route was a dead end where the tunnel ceiling had crumpled in, so they went the other way. The channel darkened as they progressed, and Kakashi noticed that Tenzou was creeping a little closer. His kohai had been keeping an exaggerated distance from him up until the fluorescent lamps became less frequent; as it grew dimmer, he edged nearer, acting antsy.

The system of winding tunnels was like a great disgusting animal's glut of blood vessels and nerves, slicked with a greasy patina of who-even-knew-what, and that foul, heady, organic stench. Any ordinary person would've found it innavigable - but _the nose knows._ A silken thread of a floral perfume was pulling him forward.

"How do you know you're going the right way?" Tenzou said tentatively. Really - the kid was all alone in an increasingly darkening tunnel, with only Kakashi to rely on, and he doubted his new partner already? Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"I know his smell," he explained, a little sharply, and then a familiar, fresh evergreen scent hit him - it was sweet and minty cool, with an undertone of rich soil. "Is that _you?_" Kakashi said irritably.

"Is what me?" Tenzou said, looking blankly at him.

"That smell," Kakashi said, wrinkling his nose, "It's not bad, but it's putting me off." Actually, it was pretty nice. Tenzou smelled like a forest in early spring.

"Uh, sorry," Tenzou said, probably wondering what he'd ever done to deserve any of this.

Suddenly, Kakashi stopped; the scent trail had ended. Now, he stared at a circular hatch that was set in the tunnel wall to their right. It looked remarkably nondescript; in fact, they'd passed by several that looked just the same, down to the rusted lever set on its surface. But his nose had led him here, so this was the one. He reached out to it, but a sudden fizz in the air as his fingertips neared it told him _no,_ and he snatched his hand back immediately.

"Don't touch it," Kakashi warned Tenzou, as if that hadn't already been obvious.

The hatch was protected by some strange and old technique, the kind he couldn't identify by surface observation. As he stared at it, he bristled; waves of years-old malintent washed over him, trying to push him away, to send him running home screaming. This was definitely the one, but until they knew exactly what was protecting it, they were stuck. Sighing, Kakashi relinquished his ANBU mask, giving it to Tenzou to hold, and then pushed up his forehead protector. Tenzou was leaning in for a closer look just as Kakashi opened his left eye.

For a second, everything was thrown out of focus, and as it shifted back into clarity he noted the unease radiating from Tenzou. His Sharingan was kept under wraps usually because there was no way to turn it _off_, and being constantly aware of every movement of chakra and every shift in feeling was incredibly draining. As a general rule, the people who he was forced to use it against were very, very unlucky.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to use it on you," Kakashi said, fixing him with his mismatched eyes, but this didn't seem to settle Tenzou one bit. He turned his stare back to the mysterious hatch, which gazed back at him, daring him to try and plumb the depths of its secrets. He could see now that a lurid violet light was burning around the perimeter of the hatch - Orochimaru's chakra. He looked down at his own hands, and as he watched, a flicker of blue light, like a tiny flame, slipped away from one fingertip and hit the hatch; he glanced at Tenzou to see that a little chakra was slipping from the boy's shoulder.

He'd seen this type of seal before, and it wasn't kind.

"You might want to stand back," Kakashi said, "It's a seal that absorbs chakra."

Tenzou took a few steps backward as Kakashi stared deeply again at the hatch. _What can I do to open you? _he thought, eyeing it, and as though it had read his mind, the seal on the hatch again drew out some of his chakra in a narrow thread that connected the end of his finger to the surface of the door. It _wanted_ a donation, but it was trying to deceive him.

"Can you break it?" Tenzou asked tentatively, keeping well away.

"Yes," Kakashi said, feeling his energy flicker as the seal tapped at it, "But only by overwhelming it with chakra."

Lifting his hand, Kakashi broke the line of glowing energy that connected him and the door. This was just like Orochimaru, from what he had heard - first, weaken the victim, then sit back relishing their struggle and suffering before finally striking when they were near-incapacitated.

"Then let me," Tenzou said, and made to step forward, but Kakashi held out his arm.

"Stay out of the way," Kakashi warned him. He'd combed through Tenzou's chakra, and the kid didn't have nearly enough in his reserves to break a seal this vindictive. In fact, Kakashi wasn't even too sure if he had the strength in him to overcome it - but a mission was a mission… and that was to say, _imperative_.

"_You're _going to do it?" Tenzou said, in disbelief. It was a clever ploy on Orochimaru's part; the seal could only be broken by someone strong and with plenty of chakra, meaning that if a group approached it, its toughest member was neutralised immediately. It was unfortunate, though, and it was obvious that Tenzou was resistant to the idea - but they had to get through.

"Kid, you'll pass out if you even try," he responded gruffly, and then, gathering his strength, he slammed both palms down hard on the hatch and forced chakra from the very tips of his toes through his body and out of his white-hot hands in one enormous burst like a tidal wave; he felt his fingertips split, unable to resist the sheer strength of the surge, as his skin blistered. It was over in a second; he twitched back, shaking his burnt and bleeding hands as he doubled over, panting. The hatch had given only a little _click_ to show that it had been defeated.

"Are you okay?" Tenzou said, inching closer to him.

'Okay' was probably not the first word he would've chosen; his hands felt like someone had run them over with a lawnmower, his heart was rattling somewhere at the top of his throat, and his lungs were flopping around like two useless fish. It felt as though somebody had set every one of his bones on fire and replaced his blood with corrosive acid. He took a deep, raspy breath, winced against the caustic pain, and just about managed to push his forehead protector back down over his stinging Sharingan.

"I've been better," he said, hoarse, taking his ANBU mask from Tenzou. He replaced it, and somehow this made him feel a little stronger. It was fine. Just a minor inconvenience. He could carry on with about a twelfth of his chakra left, no big deal, just as long as nothing untoward happened.

Crap. They were ninja. _Untoward _was a way of life.

He slouched towards the door, but his bloodied hands were useless, and when he tried to lift his arms, furious pain exploded behind his eyes and made it impossible. Tenzou stepped forward and pulled down the lever on the hatch; it then gaped open outwards, and light was thrown in on the room behind it… a room that hadn't been touched by light for years.

Kakashi tried to move towards it. He managed to shuffle about an inch forward before he slowly started to keel over, but Tenzou caught him by the shoulder strap of his chestguard and held him up.

"Maybe you should wait out here, and I'll go inside," Tenzou said, but even as he said this he seemed absolutely terrified. Kakashi eyed him, to see that Tenzou's dark eyes were wide and damp behind his mask.

"What if something happens to you?" Kakashi rasped back.

"With all due respect, senpai… you're about as useful out here as you would be in there," Tenzou joked, but his voice shook. There was no way in hell Kakashi was going to let him go in that room alone; he was obviously petrified.

"I'm good, Tenzou. Help me through," he said firmly, and together they clambered through the hatch.

It was obvious that this place had been hastily abandoned, for there were papers scattered all over the floor, and the few cots that were lined up against the wall were in disarray, sheets strewn and ripped. Thick dust that covered every surface muffled Tenzou's footsteps - he'd left Kakashi sitting on the ground, despondent, just inside the entrance. Trying to ignore the slow burn of exhaustion and pain that withered his last remaining strength, Kakashi watched Tenzou as he ransacked the room.

There were cabinets stacked high against the walls that had probably once been stuffed with papers - but when Tenzou threw them open, they were empty. Soon, Tenzou had moved out of sight, vanishing into the farthest shadowy corner of the room, and suddenly it occurred to Kakashi that it seemed almost oddly quiet in here, and if there were no physical traps… then Orochimaru certainly would've left some mental barriers.

"Be careful, because some of the things in here might be protected by -"

A sudden heavy thud made Kakashi jump, which set his nerves on fire. He had been _about_ to say 'genjutsu', but Tenzou appeared to have just conveniently dropped to the ground in a practical demonstration. With an exhausted snarl, Kakashi struggled to right himself, pain crackling up and down his spine. It was useless; there was no way he was going to be able to stand up, so he belly flopped onto the dust and dragged himself with blood-smeared hands across the flagstones, to where Tenzou lay. It took several excruciating minutes before Tenzou was finally within reach.

He wrapped his ravaged fingers around Tenzou's wrist and hauled him out of the shadows to a spot nearer the hatch, where it was lighter, then collapsed on his back at his kohai's side, panting desperately. Tenzou was gripping a scroll in his hands; that, obviously, was the information they sought, but the price to be paid for collecting it was great.

Kakashi threw off Tenzou's mask, which skidded across the room, to see that he was now pale as snow, and he was trembling violently. His dark eyes were opened wide, but staring endlessly at nothing - he was seeing something that Kakashi wasn't. He was still breathing, just about, but it was coming in ragged gasps, and a little drool was leaking out of the corner of his mouth.

"It's - all - right," Kakashi grunted, scowling in terrible pain as he rolled himself onto his side, facing Tenzou. He didn't think the boy could hear him. "Don't - worry."

Kakashi knew two ways to break a genjutsu. The first - flooding Tenzou with his own chakra - would probably kill him. The second - using his Sharingan again - would also probably kill him. He'd take his chances with his eye, he decided, flinging his ANBU mask aside and tugging his forehead protector up with urgency. Then he stared deep into Tenzou's huge, dark eyes, which expanded, and swallowed him whole.

Suddenly he was facing an abyss framed by two white sickles, and crowned by a pair of terrible yellow suns. A _snake_, he realised in half an instant, of course - Orochimaru's signature. The last vestiges of chakra left in him gave an urgent tug at his insides as they began to wisp away - _now or never, you big idiot_ - and he swiftly turned on his heel to face illusion-Tenzou, who was staring at him desperately.

The last thing Kakashi saw before he passed out was a dream of his own creation, weaved to free Tenzou from the horror of Orochimaru's genjutsu.

The snake disappeared, melting into air, as the scene shifted to deep night, an endless bow of sky… and a red moon hanging.


	5. Cure For Pain

_Kakashi woke to the steady beep of his own heart. He was in a hospital bed, but really he was floating on a carpet of cloud somewhere between the ceiling and the stars. Morphine. They'd let out all his blood, and replaced it with morphine. The fluorescent blaze of the lamps above his head, hazy and maybe not even there at all, blurred when he tried to fix his eye on it, but it was all right. He lifted his arm and waved it in front of his face; he could see that it was there but he couldn't feel a thing._

_"Lie still, Hatake," someone was saying, and he let his arm fall limply against his chest. He thought about looking in the direction of the voice for what seemed like an eternity before his gaze sluggishly shifted over, then - he wasn't in his bed any more. Above him, endless light, a slow burning heaven that pulsated and popped. He looked down into the emptiness to see the head of a strange white dog staring up at him with hellish eyes. It snarled at him - lie still, LIE STILL -_

_Its mouth gaped open impossibly wide and swallowed him whole._

"Lie _still_," Genkei snapped, pinning Kakashi's wrists to his side. He was missing his mask, and his cheek was red. It was scarlet. It was neon that smouldered garish against his papery skin. Maybe Kakashi had hit him. He drooled by accident.

"Wha'happen?" he slurred, confused.

"They gave you too much morphine. Just lie still."

"Where'sh Ten…zou?"

"Quiet."

"WaitI'mgonnathrowup," he spat out. And then he did.

* * *

Somebody had cleaved his head in half with an axe and his brain was plastered up the wall behind him. That was the only reasonable explanation for the mind-shattering pain he found himself in. The mystery assailant also gone to the trouble of flaying all the skin from his chest and ripping out his ribs one by one, replacing them with running chainsaws. Then for good measure they'd sloshed a can of petrol into his gaping abdomen and set it on fire.

"Morphine," he rasped, but there was nobody there who cared about his pain - just his boss, who was sat in a chair at his bedside. "Somebody please." He was going to cry.

"Oh, are you lucid now?" his boss said, but Kakashi didn't open his eyes. The backs of his eyelids were painted red and even that was so bright that it felt as though white hot pokers were being slowly slipped into his eyesockets.

"I want to die."

"I bet you wish you'd never given up the office job," Genkei said.

"Kill me."

"Don't pity yourself, Kakashi. It's your own fault that you're here."

The last thing he remembered was a red moon like a big fat eye swinging low over a deep black night... and Tenzou's crumpled body shaking on the ground. The two images didn't mesh.

"What happened?" he murmured.

"You nearly threw away your life for the sake of someone you'd known for not two days," Genkei said contemptuously, and Kakashi groaned. "He hasn't come to visit you, you know, and you've been here for a week. He clearly means more to you than you do to him."

The kid didn't mean a damn thing to him, Kakashi thought bitterly, as Genkei stood with an intentionally ear-splitting scrape of chair legs. Kakashi was just a good enough person to try and save his life when he needed it. That was all.

A flicker of doubt wriggled somewhere in his chest, and suddenly the physical pain didn't matter that much any more.

* * *

"Is he awake?" asked someone's familiar voice. The smell of pine needles drifted to Kakashi, over the stench of disinfectant.

"He's been on and off all week," a nurse whispered, "He had some trouble with the morphine we gave him… he probably won't be in a good mood."

That was an understatement. Tenzou clicked the door shut behind him and Kakashi listened as he drew up a chair and sat in it, but he didn't open his eyes. They remained in silence for a while, which was punctuated only by the slow beeping of his heart monitor. Kakashi didn't even _want_ to see Tenzou - he'd saved the kid's life, and then he hadn't even had the common courtesy to visit him. Had he really not had the time to drop by even once? Or maybe he was too _proud_ to see the man who had saved his life lying unconscious in a hospital bed.

"Nice of you to visit," Kakashi eventually said, surprising himself with the hoarseness of his voice.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi," Tenzou said, and Kakashi opened one eye at this, slowly rolling his head over on his pillow to stare listlessly at his kohai. Night had just begun to creep in, and the room was lit only with the waning glow of the sunset. Tenzou looked awful; his eyes were so bloodshot that they seemed to be glowing, and his skin was sallow in the lowlight. But by the horrified look Tenzou was throwing at him, Kakashi was pretty sure that he looked considerably worse.

"Sorry for what? For leaving me to rot in a hospital bed while you carried on with your life like normal?" Kakashi spat back, scowling at his kohai like he was something stuck to the bottom of his sandal.

_Those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum!_

Obito had been only too right.

"Yeah, that," Tenzou murmured, and they stared at each other.

"Why?" Kakashi demanded, his masochistic streak insisting that further punishment. _Why _wasn't he good enough to warrant a visit? What was wrong with him?

"You saved my life. And I… I just felt… I felt guilty," Tenzou struggled, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't leave my apartment the whole time. And… senpai… I read the scroll."

"So what if you did?" Kakashi exclaimed furiously, involuntarily jerking his arm - he felt the sharp tug of a needle and lay still again. As much as he might've liked to leap out of bed and give Tenzou what he deserved, he was too full of needle and tube to do that right now.

"It destroyed itself. Right after I was done reading it."

Kakashi actually laughed, because the whole situation was that bleak. He'd been hospitalised for a week for the sake of a stupid boy who didn't care about him, and a stupid scroll that was now a pile of useless ash. Tenzou looked stricken, staring at Kakashi with his huge, damp eyes, which for a strange second made Kakashi feel weirdly breathless. He was… he looked… there was something about him.

_Snap out of it, Kakashi._

"It's all right," Kakashi said, gazing into those big eyes, and then something dawned on him. Tenzou had read the scroll, and he looked distraught, far more than this situation warranted. So... "That scroll… it was about you, wasn't it?"

Tenzou nodded, confirming his suspicions. No wonder he hadn't come to visit. Kakashi had a very vivid mental image of Tenzou hunched over the scroll at home, tearing himself apart trying to resist the urge to read it.

"You don't have to tell me what it said, but…" Kakashi trailed off.

"It was bad. It was… it was really bad," was all Tenzou could choke out, and then he fell silent. Whatever anger Kakashi had wanted to direct at him had now diverted to Orochimaru, and Kakashi suddenly wanted to say something sappy like 'I'll look after you, kid', but mercifully he stopped himself.

"I understand. I need to ask you a couple things about it, though," he said, and Tenzou didn't look for even a second like he didn't trust Kakashi, who was quickly stitching a plan together.

"Sure," Tenzou said quietly, offering him a little smile.

"Did that scroll say anything that might be of use to the village?"

Tenzou shook his head, staring at his lap, and Kakashi ached for him. From the looks, the scroll had contained information that was raw, and specific to Tenzou… and the poor kid had been all alone for a week with it weighing on his mind.

"Does anyone know that you had it?"

"Only you," Tenzou said, flicking his eyes up to meet Kakashi's again. Something stirred inside of him, and Kakashi quickly stamped on the feeling.

"All right. I'll see the boss tomorrow and tell him we didn't find anything useful on the mission," Kakashi said, and Tenzou looked as though he could've kissed him. "I have one request, though… and I think you owe me."

"Anything you want," Tenzou said, sounding defeated but impossibly grateful. Kakashi's perverted side suddenly reared up gleefully, but his sensibilities crushed it, and he blushed underneath his mask. His heart monitor picked up the pace, and Tenzou raised an eyebrow.

Crap.

"Next time I'm in hospital -" he began throatily, diverting Tenzou's attention.

"I'll be there."

"Thanks, kid."

* * *

Visiting hours had long since ended, and Tenzou had left him alone with his thoughts. Kakashi couldn't sleep; he lay, staring up at the ceiling, but he couldn't see a thing because the lights were all off and it was the middle of the night. He was wishing for some morphine, but not because anything still ached - he needed something to take his mind off his thoughts, which were chasing each other around in a circular pattern, like a dog after its own tail.

First, he would think about Tenzou, and how fond he was of him already, and how much he wanted to throw himself between his kohai and all the things that could hurt him. Next, he would doubt his own motives, remembering those darkly ringed eyes that made him feel a thing he couldn't explain. Invariably the image of Tenzou hungover and semi-dressed would sneak into his thoughts and placate him. Then, he would hate himself for being that stereotype: the perverted senpai, and he'd estimate the likelihood of Tenzou thinking about him in the same way… zero. And then he'd remember how humble and distraught the boy had been, sat next to his hospital bed, and the whole horrible carousel would start over.

Did he have… did he really… have a _crush_ on his kohai? The thought made an uncomfortable heat spread across his collarbones and gave him a lump in his throat. That couldn't be happening. God, he was such a _creep_ - Tenzou was four years younger than him… a part of him was saying, "Four years isn't that much!", and Kakashi was overcome with the conflicting urge to punch himself in the face.

Eventually, just as he was beginning to think this was going to put him out of his mind, he fell asleep.


	6. If Work Permits

The next morning, Kakashi had been released from the hospital's discharge lounge - along with a warning from a well-intentioned doctor to try and avoid putting himself in the line of fire again, which Kakashi knew he couldn't heed - and he'd wandered home, for a shower and a fresh set of clothes. And then, because his list of things to do didn't let up even when he was comatose, he'd left his apartment about twenty minutes later to drop in at work and relay the mission to Genkei.

Now he found himself once again in his boss' blisteringly hot and oppressively dark office, sweat beading on his nose under his mask. His chestguard was heavy and made his shirt stick with a layer of cool clamminess to his chest.

"Do you have news for me, Hatake?" Genkei said, but he wasn't looking at Kakashi - he was writing furiously, and evidently whatever form he had to fill out was more important to him than the matters Kakashi wanted to discuss.

"Not really," Kakashi said, "The lab we infiltrated was empty. It looked as though it'd been abandoned quickly."

Genkei lifted his head from his paperwork.

"If it was empty, Hatake, then why was it protected by a technique so powerful that it left you in hospital for a week?" his boss said swiftly, fixing him with a cauterising stare.

Oh, _crap_.

"You'd have to find Orochimaru and get him to answer that himself," Kakashi said, meeting his boss' stare through the eyeholes of his mask.

"Okay… then could you also explain why Tenzou didn't leave his apartment for almost the entire week you were incapacitated?"

Kakashi could answer that question, quite easily: Tenzou had been under the wrath of that scroll, which must've been irresistibly tempting, while being jointly ashamed and embarrassed to have let his senpai end up in a critical state because of his own inability to break a genjutsu. But he couldn't say this to Genkei.

"I don't know him well enough to even guess, boss," Kakashi replied smoothly, still staring undeterred into Genkei's eyes, which were now narrowed.

"I know you're lying to me, Hatake," Genkei said sharply, but Kakashi didn't falter, or speak. Then, Genkei set down his pencil, and leaned back in his desk chair. The back of Kakashi's neck prickled in anticipation - he was really in trouble, now, but he didn't mind taking the blow of his boss' fury as long as Tenzou didn't have to.

"Did you and Tenzou recover any information that could help the village?" Genkei said, now sterner and more uncompromising than before.

"No," Kakashi replied, fully truthful for the first time since he'd stepped in that morning.

"All right. You're a terrible person, Hatake, but you're a good ninja. I believe you," his boss said, and Kakashi was flattered by the compliment. Then Genkei leaned forwards again, gesturing to the paperwork in front of him. "Do you know what this is?"

"No," Kakashi repeated, adding a snarky _obviously_ in his mind.

"It's paperwork that Tenzou filled out when he took you to hospital," Genkei explained, and before Kakashi could say anything, his boss continued. "Do you know who he wrote as your next of kin?"

"Enlighten me," Kakashi said, sounding bored. Kakashi had no close family to speak of, and if he had any distant relatives, he didn't know about them, and nor did anyone else.

"He wrote himself," Genkei said, sounding deeply unimpressed. "Touching, isn't it?"

Kakashi stood stock still, not betraying so much as a flicker of his feelings. It really _was_ touching - it was an embarrassing and raw expression of the responsibility Tenzou felt for him, and Kakashi really would've rather that Genkei hadn't found out it had happened.

"You said he didn't care about me," Kakashi eventually said, smirking under his mask.

"Yes, well, I didn't get these papers until yesterday… clearly you mean something to him. You'll look after him, won't you?" Genkei said, now scooping the forms together in his hands to form a neat pile.

"Of course," Kakashi said.

"Good," Genkei said shortly, and took a different pile of papers from his desk, handing it to Kakashi. "These are mission outcome forms, fill them in as accurately as you can… and _don't lie_." Then, he opened a drawer and withdrew another stack of forms, which he thrust into Kakashi's outstretched arms. "This is a background check which you'll have to fill out with him, as you're his supervisor."

"Shouldn't this have already been completed?" Kakashi said, peering down at the questions. He felt the colour drain from his face almost immediately. This stuff was horribly personal - why did _he_ have to do it?

"Yes, but they left a moron down in Interrogation in charge of it, and it never happened," Genkei huffed. "Now get out of here. I want those done before the end of the day."

"Sure thing, boss," Kakashi said airily, tucking the papers under his arm and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

* * *

The mission outcome forms lay in a completed stack on a long desk between Kakashi and Tenzou. They were in Meeting Room F, a smallish room on the second floor of the Hokage's building; the air conditioner was blasting so it was mercifully cool, and the wide windows opposite let in an abundance of brilliant sunlight. Kakashi still felt uncomfortable, because he was staring down at the background check form, praying that he might suddenly drop dead so that he could pass the responsibility to someone else.

"Genkei came to visit me while you were in hospital, you know," Tenzou suddenly said, and Kakashi lifted his head. They'd both relinquished their masks, so Kakashi could plainly see the sunny, eager expression on his kohai's face. Why couldn't the kid have just been ugly and mean? That would've quieted the idiotic teenager inside of Kakashi's mind, which was falling head over heels for Tenzou.

"What did he say?" Kakashi asked, but he was already pretty sure that he didn't want to know.

"That if I was unhappy with you, it was never too late to back out," Tenzou said, dark eyes glittering. Kakashi sighed.

"He wants you to ditch me so he can stuff me back in an office cubicle," he said flatly.

"Well, the shirt and tie look did suit you, senpai," Tenzou laughed, and Kakashi wanted to yell at him to _stop being so irresistible_ - not that it was his fault. Instead, he fixed his kohai with a long, unimpressed stare.

"Don't make fun."

"I'm not," Tenzou said, grinning at him. Kakashi could feel the heat creeping up his neck, which, thankfully, was covered. Then his kohai leaned across the table and for one glorious, mindless second Kakashi thought he was going to get a kiss, but no - Tenzou tapped the pile of papers in front of Kakashi. "Shall we?"

"All right," Kakashi said, grabbing a pencil as Tenzou sat back in his hard-backed plastic seat, squeaking it a little. "The first part is just the basics… what's your birthdate again?"

"August tenth."

Currently, it was near the end of August. The kid was _barely_ eighteen, Kakashi thought furiously at himself. He had no place wanting to be with someone that young.

"Okay. The next part is a health questionnaire… are you taking any prescription medicines?"

Tenzou shook his head. Kakashi ticked 'no'.

"Have you ever had jaundice or hepatitis?"

"No."

"Have you ever received a blood transfusion?"

"Yes, two years ago," Tenzou said, and Kakashi looked up.

"What happened?"

Tenzou smirked. "I was playing the hero on a mission and… it didn't work out well for me."

Kakashi knew how that felt, only too well.

The questions continued in a similar vein for a while, and by the end it seemed as though Tenzou had a fairly clean bill of health. Kakashi flipped over the last page of the health check, and braced himself for what was about to happen. The first section was _relationship history_. He didn't even want to know.

"So this next section," he explained, determinedly ignoring the fact that his voice had cracked, "Is a background check."

"Okay," Tenzou said, staring at him a little quizzically. Kakashi did not look back into those huge dark-ringed eyes, because it probably would've killed him.

"Are you currently, or have you ever been, in a romantic relationship?" he read, and then stared, deadened, at the page.

_Why is this happening to me?_

He understood that the questions had to be answered to assess how much of a security risk Tenzou might be, but all the same, Kakashi did not enjoy having to ask them. That was an understatement.

"No," Tenzou replied, laughing a little, and Kakashi despised himself for the tiny relief that grew in his belly.

"Sorry about this, by the way," Kakashi said, cringing so intensely that he thought he might implode. "It's standard procedure."

"It's fine, senpai."

"All right. Next… have you ever had sexual relations, or otherwise been in a compromising position, with another person?"

This was none of his business! He didn't want to know! No, he wasn't even _remotely_ curious…

"No," Tenzou said, and then jokingly retorted, "Have _you?_"

"I'm the one asking the questions here, kid," Kakashi said, with a sly smile that betrayed nothing of his inner triumph. (Oh God, why, _why_ was he such a _pervert?_) Maybe he'd imagined it, but Tenzou looked a little put out. "Incidentally, have you smoked a cigarette in the last six months?"

The questions became less embarrassing as they went on, which was a relief - Kakashi had a sneaking suspicion that Genkei had slipped the first two in just to cause him as much turmoil as possible, because that was what his boss was _like_. Then, suddenly, the tack changed from alcohol and drug abuse, to something worse than anything he'd had to ask Tenzou so far.

"Do you know… do you know your parents' names?" Kakashi said, as gently as possible, daring to look into Tenzou's eyes. Tenzou shook his head, and then, in the field that said 'Primary childhood caregiver(s)', Kakashi wrote 'Orochimaru', narrowing his eyes.

"Next of kin?" Kakashi read, looking up again to see that Tenzou was now smirking at him. Neither of them spoke, for a second, and then Kakashi said, "If you're mine… then shall I be yours?" He _then_ realised how ambiguous what he'd just said was, and looked down at the paper, neck burning.

"I'd like that, senpai," Tenzou said, and Kakashi scrawled down his own name.

* * *

"Your sentimentality is going to make me ill, Hatake," Genkei drawled, staring down at the completed form. "He wanted _you_ as his next of kin?"

"I'm the person with the most responsibility for him," Kakashi said, pocketing his hands like this was the most casual thing in the world.

"Well try not to get too attached… because your next mission might just kill you both."

Oh that was just _fantastic_.

"What is it?" Kakashi said, staring impassively at Genkei.

"We need you to head north, to Frost Country, and infiltrate the daimyou's mansion to recover the country's military intelligence," Genkei explained, and Kakashi nodded. It seemed pretty routine, until the caveat: "They _must not see_ you, and if you kill any, it will have disastrous consequences for the village."

"Why?"

"They're our allies - slaughtering your own comrades tends to be frowned upon," Genkei explained tersely.

"So does stealing from them," Kakashi noted.

"Yes. However, we have reason not to trust the Frost, and as long as you can retrieve the information without being caught, we'll know if our suspicions were correct… and they'll be none the wiser."

It was genius. Sheer, underhanded genius - the kind of dirty, deceitful work that Kakashi was more than used to by now.

"Clever," Kakashi said, and Genkei gave a sniff of laughter.

"Can you leave tomorrow?"

_Of course I can, it's not like I've been in a coma for the entire week or anything._

He nodded.


	7. The Tension And The Terror

"This is stupid."

"But senpai, you heard what Genkei said -"

"He hates me! He enjoys watching me suffer!"

"I think you're just imagining it, senpai."

Kakashi opened his bedroom door a crack to shoot a withering glare at Tenzou, who stood biting back laughter on the other side. He most certainly was _not_ imagining it; over the years, Genkei had always reserved the most difficult, dangerous and potentially embarrassing missions for Kakashi. His favourite flavour of sadistic task to inflict on Kakashi was the 'undercover' variety, which invariably required him to don an outlandish costume and play the part of anything-but-a-ninja. This had, in the past, included such disguises as a clerk at an adult store - _"You spend enough time at them to be able to act this part well, Hatake." _-, a janitor, and, exactly once, a geisha.

"I'm not _imagining it_. I think he has some kind of… embarrassment fetish," Kakashi said, frowning. That, or Genkei seriously _loved_ the sight of Kakashi in a button down shirt and tie. The thought made his skin crawl as he smoothed down the lapel of his blazer and straightened his tie clip. This time, he was to play the part of a wealthy businessman from Tea Country, and pass himself off as the great Copy Ninja's cousin, in the event of suspicion. Sighing, he inspected himself in the mirror on the back of his door.

He looked all right, he supposed, if he squinted. A silky white shirt clung close to his upper body, highlighting the little fat deposits that had settled stubbornly at his belly and hips. That was fine. He wore a slim, dark blazer that was swept back by his pocketed hands, and tapered black pants… and, of course, a tie: red silk. Underneath all this he wore a black undershirt with his standard mask that covered most of his face and, unable to wear his forehead protector, he'd flattened down some of his mess of silver spikes to cover his Sharingan and scar. Secreted away at different points on his person were knives and other such useful pointy objects - and all of them looked considerably sharper than _he_ did.

"Can I see now?" came Tenzou's impatient voice, and with a resigned grunt, Kakashi pulled open the door and stood despondent in front of kohai. Tenzou's darkly ringed eyes flicked once up and down, and then, looking weirdly elated, his gaze came to rest on Kakashi's face.

"How do I look?" Kakashi dared to ask, knowing full well that the answer could devastate him. He frowned at his own vulnerability.

"Handsome," Tenzou said after a second, and they stared at each other. Then Kakashi slouched against the doorframe.

"Liar," Kakashi said, smirking. As ever, Tenzou looked effortlessly appealing; he was to play the role of Kakashi's bodyguard, and he was wearing the ANBU uniform minus the mask and guards, with a bandage wound around the spiral tattoo on his upper arm. He too had relinquished his forehead protector - nobody would know they were from Konoha. Two katana were strapped across his light backpack.

"You can't take a compliment, can you, senpai?" Tenzou said, and Kakashi shrugged.

Mostly it was that his rational and responsible side didn't want to entertain the idea that Tenzou might find him attractive. Because… that was a dangerous road to travel down.

"Let's go. We'll be at the border by noon if we move out now," said Kakashi, skilfully changing the subject. Frowning, Tenzou followed him out the door.

* * *

True to Kakashi's estimation, they had arrived at the border between the Fire Country and the Hot Springs Country just before midday; now all that remained was to cross the Hot Springs Country and they would be on Frost soil. They'd been on the road for several hours, and they'd been unable to travel as ninjas usually did - flitting effortlessly through the trees - because Kakashi was supposed to be a civilian. So they'd stuck to the trade roads, and Kakashi had found himself ever more envious of every horse or donkey-drawn wagon that went past, as the ache in his feet increased.

They found themselves now at the mouth of a wide, low valley, which was carpeted with scrubby grass. The sun had taken a high perch up in the brilliant, clear sky, and it would've been uncomfortably warm if it weren't for the refreshing breeze that was funnelled down from the mountains and swept across the valley floor. They stuck to a path that slowly wound down, snaking through peaceful meadows and beside wriggling streams; it was framed by trees whose low canopies rang with birdsong. Their leaves were just beginning to develop an orange fringe, as autumn tumbled nearer.

"Nice day," Tenzou observed, as they passed underneath a sign hanging from a tree branch, which read _Hot springs, 2 miles_. "Oh, look."

Now Tenzou was staring at him imploringly, and with a sigh, Kakashi caved in almost instantly.

* * *

"Senpai, do you _always_ cover your face?"

The pair of them lazed waist deep in water that was so intensely warm that every single inch of Kakashi was in deep and contented bliss. They were alone at the spring; the lull of conversation drifted to them from the women's baths, but on this side of the screen it was just the pair of them. By now it was about two in the afternoon, and the sun cast a shimmering glow over the water's creamy surface.

He'd taken a hand towel and tied it around the lower half of his face, granting him his usual level of anonymity, which had made him feel a little more comfortable about the whole naked thing… but not much.

"Always," he said, shifting a little. Steam wisped from the skin that was now exposed to the air.

"Why? Are you disfigured?" Tenzou joked, grinning at him. They were side by side; Kakashi stared at him out of the corner of his eye, looking deeply unimpressed as usual.

"No."

"I'd still like you if you were, you know," his kohai said. Absently, Kakashi dragged a finger up his own ribcage, forming a small roll of abdominal fat. He pressed his lips together. Next to him, Tenzou was the very image of youthful vigour; he was narrow and sculpted and muscular, all lines and angles. Kakashi, too, was packed with knotted muscle, and although he wasn't the type to be ashamed of the curve of his shoulder or hip, he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed to be this exposed next to his kohai.

Presently he realised that Tenzou was staring at him, and he was grateful that the heat had already painted a pink flush on his skin.

"What are you staring at me for?" he said coolly, glancing at Tenzou to see that he had the same look in his eyes as he'd had earlier, when Kakashi had stood in front of him feeling like an idiot in a suit and tie… and Tenzou had stared back at him looking delighted.

"Oh - nothing," Tenzou blurted, and then stared determinedly at the water, ears red. Kakashi wasn't sure if Tenzou actually liked to look at him, or if the kid was just laughing at his expense… and he didn't like either of the options.

* * *

Now they were at a cat café, and Kakashi was still trying to process exactly how it had happened.

First, they'd followed a small black cat down the street. By chance, it was heading in the same direction that they were, and it'd been entertaining to watch as it gambolled along the dusty track, playing with insects and periodically throwing itself onto its back for belly rubs, which Tenzou always indulged it with.

Kakashi preferred dogs.

Then, it had stopped outside a small, narrow building with another two cats sunning themselves on its doorstep. One of them, which Tenzou picked up, was brown, and its dark eyes with their dilated pupils were uncannily like Tenzou's.

"Isn't it cute?" he'd said, cradling the fleabag in his arms, and Kakashi had stared at him in disbelief. "Can we go inside?"

He'd wanted to say no, but two pairs of wide, wet, dark-ringed eyes had made it impossible, so they'd entered. It was a tiny establishment, cosy and low-ceilinged, with a few plush pillows arranged around short tables. A long rug carpeted the centre of the room, and on the far wall barstools were lined up against a table that faced out onto the sunny gardens outside. Cats of every colour, shape and size occupied every surface and lurked beneath the tables; they stretched out in the panels of sunlight that glowed on the hardwood floor and played with pieces of string and each other and the outstretched fingers of the other customers.

They sat at the table fronted by the huge window, and Kakashi wondered what the other patrons were thinking of them; they weren't exactly a typical pair, although he was _certain_ he heard a couple of young women whispering 'they're so cute together!' Praying that Tenzou had remained oblivious to this, he shrugged off his blazer and hung it on the back of his seat. Save for the horrific embarrassment, the atmosphere was light and airy; the room was lit only by natural light, and the conversations were quiet and peaceable.

Now he watched as Tenzou scritched the ears of an imperious-looking grey cat that lay, paws tucked in so that it resembled a loaf of bread, on his lap.

"How old are you, again?" Kakashi said, as Tenzou played with the cat's whiskers.

"You sound like an old man, senpai," Tenzou said, grinning as a fat ginger cat with a squashed face leapt up onto the table in front of them.

"I _am _an old man," he grumbled, propping his elbows up on the table and resting his chin on his hands. The cat pawed at his elbow.

"Really? You don't look older than thirty," Tenzou said.

"I'm _twenty two_," Kakashi despaired, and Tenzou looked horrified.

"I just meant - I meant that you looked, uh, distinguished," he blathered, desperately trying to remedy the situation, through his suppressed laughter. The ginger cat had now made its way onto Kakashi's lap and was kneading him delightedly, completely oblivious to the waves of misery radiating from him.

"We'll set up camp just beyond the outskirts of this village," Kakashi said, demonstrating once again his infallible ability to change the subject, "We can reach Frost by the end of tomorrow."

"All right," Tenzou said, and then sipped his tea.

* * *

"This tent is a little small," Tenzou noted.

"Just a little?"

There were about fifteen square feet of space. Despite being under separate blankets, he and Tenzou were crammed so closely together, back to back, that they might as well have just had one.

"I like it. It's cosy."

_Well it's killing me,_ Kakashi thought, desperately trying to ignore the curve of Tenzou's smooth and hard back pressed up against his own. Even through their respective shirts and too-thin blankets, it was an uncomfortably pleasant sensation. There was nothing else to think about, though, because they were camped out in the shelter of a thick forest, and it was pitch black now that their campfire had sizzled out. No distractions - save for the occasional hoot of an owl or the rustle of an animal in the undergrowth. Even the wind had been silenced here.

"You're really warm, senpai," Tenzou said, shifting a little so that their backs rubbed up against each other even _more_, and Kakashi bristled as a gratifying thrill of pleasure trickled down his spine.

"Sorry," he replied, pushing out his chest to put a sliver of space between the pair of them.

"Don't move," Tenzou said, wriggling closer to him again, "It was nice."

Torn and ashamed of what his body was doing to him, he eventually relaxed again, closing the gap between them.

"Better?"

"Perfect. Night, senpai."

"Night," he croaked back.

How the _hell_ was he supposed to sleep like this?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Was all that fluff worth a review? Let me know what you think! :)


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